


Mistletoe

by ivycross



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Christmas, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 05:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivycross/pseuds/ivycross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim becomes jealous when Spock decides to sport mistletoe around the ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on the K/S Archives on 12/11/2011  
> Warnings: Bad accents and crack. The main pairing is Sprik, but I touch on the other pairings too, so I went ahead and tagged them

Dr. McCoy blue eyes bore into his captain’s face. He was hoping that Jim would get the point soon, because he hated to repeat himself.

“For the last time Jim, no.”  Jim Kirk held his hands out to his friend imploring.

“But Bones... Your eggnog is the best. I’m just saying that a little at the Christmas party would be good for ship morale, that’s all.” He tried to dazzle his friend with his trademarked lopsided grin, but after years of being friends with the captain, Leonard McCoy had developed immunity to the charm.

He shook his head crossing his arms over his blue tunic. “Forget it Jim. It’s not happening.”  Finally taking the hint that McCoy had all but beat him with Jim’s grin vanished.  

“Fine. We will serve dull non-alcoholic punch, but don’t come crying to me if this becomes one of the most boring Christmas parties in the history of Starfleet.”

McCoy barked out a laugh. “Good. It will be nice change. After all we do not want a repeat of last year.” Jim pursed his lips.

“We don’t?” he asked in a perplexed tone.  McCoy made no reply but rolled his eyes. He pushed past Jim and continued to walk down the corridor. Jim followed after him.  McCoy looked back at the pouting Kirk.

“Are you finished? We need to hurry and get those decorations out of storage or Uhura will never let us hear the end of it.” Jim matched McCoy’s stride and side by side they marched down the wide hall of the Starship Enterprise.  

Kirk laughed softly and looked over at McCoy.  “You know Bones. I think this is the only time of year that Lieutenant Uhura has more sway over the crew than me.” McCoy smiled back.

“You know how much pride she takes in getting the ship ready for Christmas.  You don’t get in her way and God be there for anyone helping her prepare.”

“That reminds me. How did we get talked into helping?” Kirk asked.

McCoy snorted, “Because Scotty got us drunk and made it sound like a good idea.”

Jim sighed. “Oh yeah,” He said and they walked the rest of the way in silence.  They arrived in front of the doors of storage area 3.

There were a dozen or so people going to and fro making the area a blur of red, blue and gold. In the middle of it all like a glamorous, red clad eye of a hurricane was Lieutenant Uhura. She held a clipboard in one hand and with the other pointed here and there while giving directions to everyone at once.

Once she noticed the captain and the doctor, she stopped what she was doing and placed her hands on her hips. She strode toward them with a look of mock annoyance on her dark features.  “Well, so nice of you two to join us.”

Jim clicked his heels together, giving an exaggerated salute. “Reporting for duty, Ma’am,” He said as McCoy cracked a smile and rocked on his heels.

Uhura crossed arms and smiled. “Har har Captain. I was worried that you wouldn’t show up. We need help carrying these boxes of decorations.”

Before Jim could reply, out the storage room doors walked a stack of boxes. Behind the boxes came Lieutenant  Sulu.   He held a box in his arms and looked at the stack in exasperation.  

“Pavel, I really think you should leave one those here.  You can come back for it.”

“Nonsense. I’we got zhis. Vhere did you vant zhese, Uhura?”  Uhura peered around the boxes.

“Umm Chekov, I think maybe you should listen to Sulu.”  The boxes seemed to shudder as if shrugging shoulders they didn’t possess.

“Bah,” They said and started forward, but the two black boots poking out underneath seemed to stumble and everyone froze as the top most box slipped. It tumbled forward and everyone tensed waiting for the crash of breaking glass.

But that moment never came and there stood Mr. Spock the box held gently in his long slender fingers.  Upon seeing his friend ah first officer, Jim smiled unconsciously.  

“Excellent catch, Mr. Spock”  

The tall graceful figure turned to face the Captain.

“Why thank you, Captain.” Then he turned to Lieutenant Uhura.

“I apologize for being late. I was having trouble with something in the lab and I could not leave until I had corrected the problem.” Spock stopped and looked about. It seemed that everyone was staring at him as if he had grown another head.  He blinked and arched one poised eyebrow.

“Is there something wrong?” For a moment no one said anything then Dr. McCoy broke the silence.

“What in God’s name is on your head, Spock?”  

Kirk said nothing. He just stared at the thing not believing his own eyes. Spock tilted his eyes up and then looked back to the doctor.

“That would be mistletoe, Doctor.”   McCoy scowled.  

“I can see that much, but what is it doing attached to a spring and headband that you are wearing like a fedora?”

Without missing beat, Mr. Spock replied,  “I am doing research.” McCoy eye’s opened wide in disbelief.

“Research he says. This should be good.” That last remark was directed at Kirk, but he didn’t hear one word.

He was lost in his own world and in it Spock was wearing the mistletoe adorned headband and a black silk robe, stretched out on his bunk, his cheeks flushed green with a coy smile to his lips.

“Captain, will you not come over here? I have a Christmas present for you,” said sex-kitten Spock in Kirk's mind.  McCoy noticed Kirk’s non-responsiveness and jabbed his side with an elbow.  

“Ouch, that hurt Bones.”  Kirk glared as the doctor as he spoke.

McCoy shrugged and turned back to the scene in front of them.  Everyone else by this time had shaken off the mistletoe’s spell and resumed what they were doing.  Spock was engaged with Sulu, Uhura and Chekov in conversation.

“So what are you researching, Mr. Spock?” Kirk heard Sulu ask.  Spock still holding the box of decorations, addressed his audience like a professor in front of the class.  

“Well the research in itself in very generic, but mainly it will be focusing on people’s reaction to the mistletoe. Plus I feel this will be good way for me to take the advice of our captain and try to get into festivities.”

Chekov who could now be seen without the extra box covering his face smiled.  “Nothing like diwing in head first.”  Spock raised his eyebrow.

“Indeed.  Lieutenant Uhura, where would you like me to take this box?”

Uhura checked her clipboard against the marks on the side of the box. “That needs to go to the mess hall please, Mr. Spock.” Spock nodded and started to turn to make his way down the corridor, when Uhura started to speak again.

“Um Mr. Spock? I have to ask since you are wearing the mistletoe, may I kiss you?” She blushed and blurted out, “Just on the cheek of course.”

Spock looked back at her and tilted his head in thought.

“But of course. I am wearing the mistletoe and unless my data is incorrect that is what one does when they come across another under mistletoe.” He stood and waited with an amused expression on his face as Uhura stood on tiptoe and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She covered her face and laughed. Spock raised his brow in question.  

“Is everything alright Lieutenant?”

Uhura’s face was now tinted pink.  “Of course Mr. Spock. I just can’t believe you let me do that.”  Spock pursed his lips clearly in thought.

“Can’t you? Hmmm... Fascinating.”  McCoy chuckled to himself and nudged Kirk.

“Well I’ll be damned. Did you see that, Jim?”

Jim had indeed seen that and it had been rude awaking from his little world where sex-kitten Spock had stripped off the robe, the mistletoe now in a more strategic spot, and was holding out his long slim arms in a very welcoming gesture. He seemed to be pouting.

“Captain I fear that I’m getting cold here without my clothes. Maybe you should come and keep me warm?”  All that was gone in a moment when McCoy elbowed Jim in the ribs again, the same spot too one might add, and he saw Uhura kiss Spock.

There was nothing lewd about the act and it to some it would have been sweet, but Jim started to stammer.  

“Now wait a minute. I fear that this may be a very bad Idea.” Everyone turned to look at him.

“Bad idea, Jim?” McCoy asked. Kirk took a deep breath.

“Well I just don’t want things to get out of hand is all I’m saying. I will not have anyone in my crew taking advantage of anyone else. This is a Starfleet vessel and we have a reputation to uphold.”

Now everyone seemed to share the same expression that read “is he for real?”  Uhura spoke up.

“Well Captain, I did ask before I kissed Mr. Spock and he did not seem to mind. It was all in fun.”

Jim opened his mouth but was cut off by a bellow coming from inside the storage area.  “Er now what is goin on here?” Out came Mr. Scott, the red nosed chief engineer complete with antlers, carrying a large beribboned reef.

“You missed it. Lieutenant Uhura kessed Mester Spock.” Chekov supplied.

Scotty looked hurt and turned to Uhura.  “Nyota...You keen if you wanted a smuirich*  I was just over yonder.”  He point off in the cavern that was the storage area.

Uhura reached up and touched Scotty’s face. “Aww Scotty. It wasn’t like that. It was one kiss on the cheek. He ‘s wearing mistletoe and I was helping him to get into the spirit of Christmas.”

Scotty looked up from Uhura to Spock and saw for the first time the mistletoe hanging over the slanted eyebrows.  His frown turned its self upside down and he laughed.  

“Well I be... Mr. Spock is wearing mistletoe. Well I guess if it was just in fun. Here I was afraid I was gunna hafta make ye eat this here reef.”

Scotty smiled hugely, but there was a glint of something else in his eyes. Spock said nothing, but was contemplating if Mr. Scott would actually be capable of making good on his threat.  That theory that was better left untested.

Spock still holding the box in his hands nodded at Scotty and in a tone that held a touch of reassurance said, “To be honest I am conducting research see how people react to holiday traditions. The Lieutenant  was simply assisting me.”

Scotty nodded his head in an understanding fashion still smiling.

“Oh well then if it for science...” Faster than anyone would have believed possible Scotty rushed forward and planted a kiss right on Mr. Spock’s mouth.

Uhura gasped, Sulu and Chekov’s jaws hit the floor, McCoy was bent over double from laughter and Jim just made incoherent sputtering sounds.  Scotty pulled away and shifted the weight of the huge reef in his arms.

“Welp canna stand around here all day. This reef ain't going to carry itself to the bridge.”

With that Scotty sauntered down the corridor whistling.  Everyone watched him go, except McCoy who was still giggling and wondering to himself how much Scotty had to drink.   They all then turned to see if Spock was alright.

His eyes were wide in shock and his was spine ramrod straight, Spock had developed a slight tick on the left side of his face.   Uhura stepped closer to Spock. She didn’t touch him but softly, so not to startle him, asked if he was alright. For a minute he said nothing then suddenly coming back to himself Spock shook his head and regained his composure.  

“Fascinating...” He muttered.

By this point Kirk too had calmed down enough that he could form complete sentences again. He stepped up to Spock.  

“See what you did? You almost cause problems for Scotty and Uhura and you were accosted. Well serves you right I say.” Jim crossed his arms over his gold clad chest and gave Spock a chastising look but cursed himself that he never had the balls to do what Scotty just did. Spock looked at his captain.

“I’m not sure I understand why you seem to be uncomfortable with what I am doing, Jim. You were the one that told me I needed to try and get into the spirit of the season. I’m attempting to do just that. As for Scotty and Uhura, they have been together long enough that what took place would not have affected their relationship, but had I not been careful I surely would have spent the night having Dr. McCoy remove that reef from my stomach.”

Jim pursed his lips, angry at Spock for calling him out. “And what of the kiss Scotty laid on you? He's not going to be the only one to accost you like that, you know.”

Spock paused for moment and then nodded.  “I have a feeling that maybe the case but the data will prove to be useful in my studies.”  Jim sorted and shook his head.

He crossed over to Chekov and snatched one of the boxes out of the ensign’s grip.  He held this around his middle and without another word stormed off down the Corridor.  McCoy finally wiping the last of the tears from his eyes watched Jim go, sighing inwardly.

“Where does that box go, Uhura?” He asked.  

“I think rec room 5.” She replied checking her clipboard.

“I better let him know that. Here Chekov, let me have that other box.”

With the box in hand McCoy followed after Jim.  Spock shrugged and he head towards the Mess Hall.  The other three stood trying to figure out what had just happened.  Then Chekov realized that all the boxes he had in his hands were now gone. Frowning, he stomped back in the storage area.

~*~

“Are you going to tell someone what you deal is, Jim?” McCoy asked as the captain tried unsuccessfully to walk ahead of the doctor.

“I don’t know what you mean, Bones?”

“Don’t you now? Let me point it out to you, Jim. The moment Spock showed up wearing that silly headband with that piece of mistletoe attached to it, you have been behaving like the man spit on your shoes.”

Jim stopped and faced McCoy.  “Bones it is not like that. I just don’t think Spock knows what he is in for that is all. He is a Vulcan and you know how they are about others touching them. I just think he is biting off more than he can chew.”

McCoy shook his head. “I don’t think so Jim. There is more to this that you are not saying. Just be careful and don’t bite off more than you can chew with this attitude.” Kirk rolled his eyes and turned to continue down the corridor.

“Whatever Bones, let’s just get back to Uhura and carry more boxes.” As the two men approached the storage area a din could be heard.

As they got closer the sound grew louder. Then they saw before them a small riot. It seemed that every female and few of the male crew members were clustered around a now not so confidant looking Mr. Spock.

Jim rushed up to Uhura who was trying in vain to control the mob.

"Lieutenant, I demand to know what is going on here.” Uhura faced the captain looking like a deer in headlights.

“It’s the mistletoe, Captain. Everyone heard about Mr. Spock wearing it and they all rushed down here to take their turn at giving him a kiss.”

Jim’s face contorted in anger.  “Take their turn? He respected officer of this ship, not an amusement park ride,” He growled.

Uhura looked helpless. “I know Captain.  I have tried to rein everyone in. I even got Scotty to help but...” It was this moment that Scotty pushed his way out of the crowd. His tunic was torn and the antlers on his head were askew. He staggered up to Jim and Uhura.

“I’ve done everything I can, but they keep coming. I just don’t have the power to stop 'em, Cap’in.”  Uhura took Scotty in her arms and helped him limp off towards sickbay.

Jim looked over the mob and watch helpless as Mr. Spock was attack over and over again by overly amorous admirers.  He turned back to McCoy.

“Bones, I’ve got to do something. They’ll tear him apart if this keeps up.”

He rushed toward the rabble, but McCoy stopped him, gripping his shoulder.

“Jim, are you mad? They’ll rip you sheds to get at Spock.”

Jim twisted out of McCoy’s grip. “I don’t care. I have to help him.” And with that Jim disappeared into the throng. By this point Spock could no longer be seen in the sea of bodies.

McCoy had had enough. He started towards the nearest COMM to call for security.  He stopped and turned when he heard a gasp behind him. Nurse Chapel stood there looking at the scene before her in horror.  

“Doctor, what is going on?” She stammered.

“Mr. Spock thought that it would be a good idea to wear piece mistletoe around the ship and has started a riot.” McCoy said. Nurse Chapel frowned.

“Mr. Spock was under mistletoe and I missed it?” She whined.  

McCoy glared.  “Christine focus!” He snapped.

Nurse Chapel snapped out of her pout.  “Sorry Doctor. So where is the Captain?”

McCoy bit his lip and pointed towards the mob. “He’s in there. Trying to save Spock.” Christine covered her mouth and stared off into hoard of people in shock and awe. Then she saw a movement towards the floor.

“Doctor, look!” She pointed as she spoke and McCoy followed the direction of her finger. There he saw Jim crawling under the sea of people on one arm, his other wrapped around the limp form of Mr. Spock.

Both blue and gold tunics were in ribbons and dirt covered their faces.  The headband was missing from Spock’s head and his hair was a mess. Jim’s hair was still in place but only because of the copious amounts of styling gel he used every morning. McCoy and Nurse Chapel rushed to over to them.  McCoy took Spock out of Jim’s grip and Nurse Chapel helped the captain off the floor.

It wasn’t long till those on the edge of the mass noticed this and they turned to attack. Kirk thrust out his jaw and stood before the multitude.

“Back off you hoochies, he’s mine! And if any of you are stupid enough to challenge me, then you are in for one hell of a fight. Now I know you all have something you should be doing, so I suggest you go and do it!”  Jim’s chest heaved and his eyes burned.  Those in the crowd carefully started to back away and then one by one they were gone. Jim turned back to the encumbered doctor and nurse.

“Get him to sickbay and do what you can for him. I’m going to my quarters to get cleaned up and when he is awake you are to tell him he is to come straight there. He wants research... I’ll give him research.”  With that he turned on his heels and left. After a second the seemingly unconscious Spock opened an eye and looked around.  “

Is he gone?” He asked. McCoy nodded.

“Yep.” In one fluid movement Spock stood from McCoy’s grasp and fixed his hair.  He straightened the remains of his tunic and tilted his head at the now grinning McCoy.  

“Satisfied Spock?” Spock’s mouth twitched up for a second.

“That would be an affirmative, Doctor. I will say your input in this matter has been most beneficial.  I will have to find a way to repay you for your assistance.” McCoy gave the Vulcan a wave of dismissal.

“Just make sure Jim never finds out I had any part of this.”  Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded his head.  

“Your request is sufficiently undemanding, Doctor. It will be granted.  Now please excuse me. I believe I have an engagement with the captain.”

Nurse Chapel and Dr. McCoy watched Mr. Spock walk down the corridor.  Nurse Chapel’s brows knitted together.

“Leonard, what was that about? Where is he going? We should be getting him to sickbay.” McCoy smirked.

“Nah, He’s fine. It was all a set up.” Christine’s eye opened wide.

“A set up? What for?”

“To make Jim come clean about his attraction to Spock. Spock knew that the captain wanted him but was at a loss to make him admit it. So, I made a little suggestion of wearing a headband with sprig mistletoe attached to it. We figured that Jim would not be able to resist giving Spock a kiss, but what actually happened was even better.  Imagine driving Jim to jealousy like that.” McCoy smiled and laughed.

“So that whole thing was just to trick the captain into coming out about his attraction to Mr. Spock. That wasn’t very fair to the captain.” Christine placed her hands on her hips and scowled.  McCoy threw up his hands in a placating gesture.

“Not when you think about it. Jim was driving himself up the wall worrying about messing up their friendship if he said anything, going around fantasizing about what he thought he couldn’t have.  All the while Spock is doing the same thing. Except he’s bit more on the uptake than Jim and figured out that he could have what he wanted.  It was just a matter of getting everything out in the open. That’s what this whole mess was about. Now tell me what is worse? Letting them pine after each for the remainder of this mission and who knows, the rest of their lives, or  hatching a little plan to make Jim come out with his feelings towards Spock so they talk about them and form a relationship?”

Christine’s face softened and she started to fidget, wringing her hands together. She knew what it was like to care for someone that she could never have.  

“When you put it that way... I guess that it much better like this.”  

McCoy smiled at her and offered her his arm.

“Care to join me in a toast to Jim and Spock’s new relationship.”  Christine took the proffered arm and blushed.  

“I would love to, Leonard.”

~*~

Back in his quarters, Jim never got the chance to clean up. Shortly after the doors of his quarters shut behind him, they reopened with Spock walking in.  Jim turned and was startled to see his friend there.

“Spock what are you doing here? McCoy should have you locked up in sickbay.” Spock tilted his head.

“But Captain, I thought you said you were going to show me some research since that is what I wanted.” Jim stopped in his tracks near his desk, confusion clouding his features.

“What...”  Was all he was able to get out before Spock leapt.

Now sitting on the edge of his desk, his arms around Spock’s torso, legs curled around his hips, Jim was light headed as he felt Spock’s hand creep its way up his thigh, their lips locked in a passionate kiss and Spock’s erection pressed into him.   As Spock broke from the kiss to run his mouth over the length of Jim jaw and down his neck, Jim’s eye rolled back and he moaned.

“Did I die trying to save Spock from the mob? That must be it. I have died and this is my personal heaven, my reward for leading a good life.” He thought to himself.

He shook his head to clear it.  “No, this is real. Ye gods, yes!”  Jim pulled Spock closer to him and smiled to himself. Looking at his captain smile, Spock felt a rush of warmth.

He loosened Jim’s hold on him and crouched down.  Puzzlement contorted Jim’s features as Spock moved.

“Spock what are you doing?” One side of Spock mouth quirked up as he glanced up at Jim.

“Just something that I have wanted to do for quite some time now.” With that Spock nestled his face into Jim’s crotch and started to unzip Jim’s pants with his teeth.  Jim’s breath caught for a second and as he felt the heat of Spock’s mouth on his flesh, he offered up a prayer of thanks to a thousand different gods.

~*~

Taking their places on the bridge for the start of the gamma shift, Chekov looked over frowning at Sulu.

“So if the Keptain has Mester Spock, Uhura has Scotty and zhe doctor has Nurse Chapel, who do we have?”  Sulu shrugged.

“I guess we have each other Pavel.”  Chekov’s frowned deepened.

“I suppose you’re right.” For a period neither said anything then at the same time they looked at one another out of the corner of their eyes and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> smuirich: to exchange kisses, to cuddle, “canoodle”
> 
> thanks for reading


End file.
